Free Press Graveyard
@1505 Westheimer from 6 to 8, with a best costume award at 7
Dare ye enter the Free Press Graveyard?
Then know ye must that all are barred
But for them who enter when
They answer fair these questions ten
Which witch is an evil witch?
C: Elizabeth Montgomery
D: Hillary Clinton
How do you kill a werewolf?
What demon possessed Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters?
A: The Key Master
B: The Gate Keeper
C: Gozer the Gozerian
D: Whitney Houston
Which holiday is more evil than Halloween?
A: Branch Davidian New Year
B: Feast of the Ponderous Panda
C: Cinco de Satan
D: Take Your Handgun to Work Day
Which is the title of an Anne Rice novel?
A: The Punishment Of Beauty
B: Servant Of The Bones
C: Memnoch The Damned
D: The Vampire Tyrone
The Jack O’Lantern is named after:
A: a drunk who tricked the Devil
B: a boy who burned a forest
C: a farmer who killed a wolf
D: a pop star who molested children
Which is a line from The Rocky Horror Picture Show?
A: “If you say yes, just watch me undress”
B: “Little bit of mania, dance to Transylvania”
C: “Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me”
D: “Put it in my ass, then we’ll smoke some grass”
Which religion is the evil religion?
A: Voodoo Economics
B: Double Reverse Judaism
D: That Fucked Up Religion That Tom Cruise Is In
Why is Casper the friendly ghost?
Which ghost haunts the Free Press Houston office?
A: Joey, the missing intern
B: Janelle, the dead crack whore
C: Mr. Fluffy, cat trapped in the heating duct
D: some fat kid Andrea hit with the van